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Bumblebee Escape Pod
The Bumblebee Escape Pod is a piece of shit powered by 1 A Battery. Master Chief thinks this piece of Brute shit filled with Flood sucks brute ass. Nobody knows who made this, but they know why, TO PISS OFF THE GALAXY! Rumors say if you take a shit on a ODST in this thing while dividing by zero it turns into a giant black hole and sucks in your whole face and all and shit and why am I saying all this? This is also the result of a Pelican having sex with a Noob. Just beware of this shit and gtfo. In addition the bumble bee escape pod has 4 wings used to hold it from entering all the way into the pussy. It is brilliant at fucking your mother while she is in a crobojenic sleep pod. I think it has the most shitplistic desgin an escape pod could have. Its also called the dildo pussy pod it makes women feel comfortable. It is also a nice gift to give to your teacher. Its "penis" like design is a nice fit for masturbating in. A hole is able to open in the bottom of the pilots seat to fit your penis in snuggly while the pilot is driving, this is called the "buttfuckoperate" technique it is good to use if the pilot is stressed out or your a guy who likes to rape people in prison sometimes. The color of the pod is yellow, to make it yellow a Jackal must ejaculate his "speacial" seamen all over the pod while watching an episode of Family Matters. Elites prefer to give each other blumpkins in this type of contraption thats why it usually attracts a horny Elite and his bitch. Master Chief once had AI sex in one of these pods with Cortana. If a giant needed a vibrator this would probably satisfy the need for one. It is a proven fact that "Bumble Bee" from Transformers had his dick sliced off with an Energy Sword, and was mended into this very long looking how you say "shit". There is no known way how the pilot gets into the cock pit but a theory states that the pilots rectom must be bleached then scanned and the pilot is is magically teleported in the seat by a unicorn who acts like a dick named charlie the bumblee bee escape pod can make any womens pussy feel like it is having a giant cock shoved up her cliterous When they are not ejected from the Catapillar of TaughtEm' they are known to be Tight Fuck Corridors in the sense that Captain "TitDick" Keyes Has masculent gay sex with his Mexican gardener, Alejandro. The radio only plays one song and thats the Axel F theme from Beverley Hill Cops It is known to enrage boners so they are prepared for Docking and Grunt Cum is smeared all over the walls to loosen the asshole so the cock may fit snuggly like a sleeping bag. This is where Cortana earned her prostitute nick name Whoretana after blowing so many military dicks. Marines refered to this as a "Smurfy" because Cortana looked like a smurf getting filled with cum. After her pimp, Teh Mastur Cheef Found this out and wasn't getting his cut he just had to slapa bitch. Thugnificent from The Boondocks was seen getting a smurfy at one point. When cortana was filled with too much cum they had to empty her out like a garbadge can this also ended with her earning her second nickname, Cumpster a combination of both Cum and Dumpster Noble six had used NobleDicks technique in the 11nth bumble escape pod the word "escape " is meant as an escape from your boring sex life and to come here for a "partay" another term for cumming into a stanky wrinkly vagina is known as "The Flood" and was thought of by Master Cheif when he landed onto the first Halo while sitting in a bumble bee escape pod Sometimes True Blue Halo fans such as my self come here to cry and bitch over the disaster that is Halo 4. Some Pussy non Halo lovERS who play Halo and hate Halo 4 just suck cock and bitch like a stupid noob when instead they should be bitchin' in an escape pod. Seargent Johnson's dick was first seen in here it was so musclely it was referred to as JOHNSON'S JOHNSON! His dick could kill a brute if it was slapped with it Johnson looked like he had a gravity hammer for a wee wee which gravitated bitches mouthes onto his dick and made him flood inside of their mouthes. Miranda Keyes was filmed giving a handjob to the Chiefs bionic commando dick durring the events of halo 3. The Arbiter was once very attatched to the prophet of Truth and his betrayl during halo 2 broke his elite heart according to the arbiter who was contemplating suicide they were true friends he was his true nigga. it earned the prophet of truth his new nickname, "the prophet of Douche " Truth said he had to dew it because mountain dew told him to do the dew. The Arbiter eventually became best buddies with Master Chief who secretly revealed himself to be a woman. The two eventually became so close that they bathed together, one time while they were having a bubble party in the bath the Arbiter heard tuba sounds coming from chiefs pussy the arbiter gave chief a new nick name "Masta Queef" the two were as tight as a virgins stanky VJ. The two eventually went to the same college and became doorm mates. The Arbiter was apparently failing his studies and felt like he was hitting rock bottom and resorted to the use of drugs Master chief walked in on the alien snorting cocain master chief was appauled he yelled at the arbiter like WTF MAN I-IS THAT COCAINE!? and the arbiter was all like YEAH SO WHAT IF IT IS MAN! MY LIFE IS SHIT IM NEVER GONNA GET TO LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY I WANT TO SO I MIGHT AS WELL CHANGE IT! and chief was alll like BRO! THERES OTHER WAYS GIVE ME THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW and the arbiter was like FUCK OFF ASSHOLE I NEED THIS SHIT ITS THE ONLY WAAAAAAAAAAAY and chief told the arbiter NA-NAH YOU'VE BECOME ADDICTED MAN OH GOD! and the arbiter replied NO NO I AM NOT ADDICTED I CAN STOP WHENEVER I WANT! but chief wasn't having any of that shit YOU ARENT THE SAME ARBITER I USED TO KNOW WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME! and the arbiter sobbed PLEASE HELP ME MAN I-I-I N-NEED HELP! and the chief said ITS OK BRO I'M HERE FOR YA ALWAYS! and the two hugged it out and got the arbiter help. Chief brought the arbiter to a rehablitation center where he was placed in the room across from Lindsay Lohan for treatment. The Arbiter was constantly forced to watch hours of porn in order to forget about the use of drugs, this led to him recieving a porn addiction instead, after he was treated for his porn addiction the arbiter returned to the chief with his swollen large red pulsating alien cock in a casket. the chief and the arbiter got their masters in prostitution and made a living off the money they earned from gay 3 ways 24/6 which only gave them one hour a week to fuck together. Eventually Bungie called them and offered them a position in the greastest game of all time in the universe of history of ever in the world, Halo 3. They gladly accepted so they could get a vacation from blowing cocks in compton. They became billionaires and spent the entire amount of money torwards whores who sucked their dick alll day, I'm serious they werent allowed to eat or anything wherever the two walked, the sluts would follow with their mouths still on their dicks! They became so poor again that they went back to sucking cocks, how ironic! Then, one fateful day came along when the chief and the arbiter got word that Bungie left them because Bungie fucking sucks now fuck you asssholes go make that piece of shit you calll destiny and leave the greatest franchise ever i hope you guys get raped by a flood tentacle! Anyways, the two were heartbroken and began crying until a new dictator appeared, they werent prepared for the wrath....THAT WAS 343 INDUSTRIES! They told the arbiter to go fuck himself and eat dick flavored birthday cake and offered chief a position in the worst game ever and is only played by stupid fucking fagggot n00bs, GAYLO 4! The chief didn't want to accept, he knew it was gonnna suck titty ass, so he told them no go fuck yourselves but 343 held a gun to his head and forced him to act in that horrendous dog shit of a game. The chief had no choice, he was constantly contemplating suicide as Cortana was on her period throughout the entire game and was bitching at him the whole time. In a "beehighned teh seens" episode chief could be heard having enough of cortana's shit and was "tired and couldn't put up with this shit if he wasn't getting his dick sucked." After making millions of money from n00bs who bought the game, 343 held the chief captive in their buttsex lair so they could make even more money from future retarded games. The arbiter planned a mission with Christopher Walken and Obama to rescue the chief, but ultimatley ended with the 3 stuck in a sexual pose like in a game of twister or something. THE END.